Saturday, March 12, 2011


I’m just sayin…..



While waiting in line at Chic-fil-a, I was shocked by what I saw.  There was a girl in line a few people ahead of me.  She had a great and colorful tattoo of a butterfly on the back of her neck.  It was very pretty and tastefully done.  When she gets older and enters the work force she can simply wear her hair down if she so chooses and no one will know its there.   I am not a fan of ink (for myself) but I have always said if I were to get a tattoo, it would be either on the back of my neck or on my backside and it would probably be a butterfly.  The woman with the tattoo was not the shocking thing.  It was the lady directly in front of me that was taking serious issue with the girl with the butterfly tattoo.  She went on and on about how tacky it was to get a tattoo and how young people today were all just “trashy”.  I agree that there is a lot of trashy out there but this girl was not trashy, just young and expressing herself with a beautiful tattoo of a butterfly.  The woman went on for about 5 minutes with the person she was standing in line with.  She had one of the southern accents that even southerners talk about being horrible. The kind that makes you scratch your head at why SHE is talking about trashy because you KNOW when the chips are down, she KNOWS trashy very well.  I'm talkin crawls into bed with dirty feet trashy, my baby daddy trashy (although not in her case, she was old), paints over chipped toenail polish trashy, meth lab in her neighborhood kind of trashy.  You know, the accent that says I come from circus people from the wrong side of the tracks.  She sounded like she could not hardly wait to get through line so she could go outside and burn a cigarette.  People around us were getting a little irritated with her diatribe.  Believe it or not, I kept my mouth shut although I was secretly dreaming of jumping the counter, grabbing a piece of piping hot chicken and shoving it down the hatch of her big ass mouth in an effort to take one for the team and shut her up!   I cleared my throat the way folks do when they are irritated and I was all ready to give her stink eye when she turned to look at me.  Enter the shocking part.  When she turned around to look at me I almost turned to stone.  She had the biggest, brightest eyebrows in all the free world, and guess what?  THEY WERE TATTOOED ON!!!!!! This old bitch, complaining about a tattoo and she had two of um...on her damn face!!!!   First of all, what hit me was the ugly face of this woman, instead of wasting her money on tattooed eyebrows she should have had them tattoo the face of Cindy Crawford on her to cover up hers.  All I could focus on were the reddish brown arches she had inked into her face.  She looked like a walking representative for McDonald's!  The audacity of this woman to talk smack about the girl with the tattoo when she had two of them on her forehead!  I would have gladly taken the butterfly over the auburn arches.  You be the judge.

                 This?               



                  Or this?                  



 Should make you think of burgers NOT eyebrows
                           

I simply do not understand the concept of tattooing your eyebrows.  I know as we age or have health complications things like eyebrows falling out becomes a reality.  Our eyebrows are one of the few things that actually thin as we age..isn't it ironic, don't cha think?  Is there something wrong with using an eyebrow pencil to fill them in to give them definition?   Or is filling them in with a pencil the pre-cursor to tattooing?  I think its ugly as hell when they are colored in to heavily also but my god at least you can wash that off at night!  Tattooing eyebrows may look good on women of color but white women with pasty white skin, NO NO NO!  I have never seen this done on a woman where it looks natural. 


Case and Point
But also wrong on many levels

I am sorry but it just looks like a toddler got hold of a sharpie and went to work on the forehead of a woman scared to get old.  My eyebrows are thin also and I am now a blond so I take blond eyeliner pencil and color them a tad bit just so they do not look so thin, well and to cover up the gray ones that creep in.  I DO NOT use that eyeliner to draw a line further than the eyebrow actually exists.  I find myself looking in a mirror several times before I leave the house JUST to make sure my eyebrows are not so prominent that they enter a room 30 seconds before I do.  People should notice the entire face, not just one item on the face.  I cannot look anyone in the eye that has tattooed eyebrows.  I feel like its all I am looking at and it honestly makes me feel like I am going to turn into a pillar of salt.  I am not saying that every set of tattooed eyebrows is unattractive, I am just saying I have never seen any that were attractive enough to look normal or make me rush out and spend $450 to get a set.  If you think I am lying, ask a man what he thinks (not that it really matters, we don't do it for them anyway).  If you can find one that will talk about it, good luck getting him to tell you the truth until you get a few beers in him.  The ones I have asked (didn't want to be named of course) say they do not understand why we pluck the shit out of them and then color them on, honestly neither do I.  Men do stupid stuff too, especially when they are going through a midlife crisis.  They buy sports cars, wear all black clothing, turtlenecks and douse themselves in tons of cologne.  They hang out at bars again, comb their hair over a growing bald spot, cavort with younger women and eat Viagra like candy until their ticker jumps ship or they realize they are just old and settle down before the next heart attack.  Anyway, back to women... The way we decorate our faces should enhance our beauty not detract from it.  I am the first to admit that when you see me without make up you KNOW God invented it for a reason but damn people, its make up, not war paint!  

 

Speaking of getting old, one of the reason’s I am a bit scared to get old is because beauty will eventually betray us all as wrinkles and oldness set in.  Society doesn’t really teach us how to age gracefully, but rather how to go see a surgeon to delay it with ink, nips and tucks.  Once women start having “work done” they seem to lose perspective on when enough is enough.  Its like they are stuck in this parallel universe where they think no one is aware they are having procedures done and they somehow think they look normal to us.  Really?  Is this normal?


                 This was normal                   

              Damn                     

              Sweet Jesus                       

                THIS may be the one that made her daughter beg her to STOP!


       
        She had so much surgery her husband split because
her looks made him physically ILL!

I think she wants to be a cat.



Men do it too!



 Not scared of getting old.  Scared of getting black.
                   

When the gambler had a good hand.

FOLD




I digress but seriously, WTF?
 foam AND sausage fingers!


I have always said that I will do just about anything to my face such as, spend an exorbitant amount of money on creams, serums, oxygen blasts, botox and peels but it stops there.  NO surgery.  Partly because I am chicken shit and do not have a high threshold for pain but also because I am scared I will look like a sad woman afraid to get old. 

Used to be adorable
Now the joker from Batman

Used to be gorgeous

Now old and overly injected
There are those eyebrows again

Hi, I could suck a golf ball through
a garden hose!


Its not just Hollywood that has lost their mind and gone surgery crazy.  We have women here that have done it also.  I would love to put pictures of them in here because damn all I would have to do is scan through my face book pages but I have to live here so I will not sell anyone out.  I am just sayin at some point we need to just allow ourselves to get old and stop trying to cover it up by injecting fat from other parts of our body into our face.  We see you and we remember what you looked like one or two husbands ago and we think you just look silly now, well and old but its ok it happens to all of us.   Back to the eyebrows, I guess that is a live and let live thing but you KNOW I have an opinion on it..and in the grand scheme of what folks do to their faces it could probably be worse.




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