WTF????

I wish I had a dollar for every time this pops into my head or out of my mouth daily.

So far today...and its barely noon.

Parked at the drug store. Got out of my car to a lady screaming at me.
Lady:  YOU STOLE MY PARKING SPOT
Me:  How do you figure?  There was no one in front of me Mam?
Lady:  I know that!  I was behind you!
Me:  Then.....how did I steal YOUR spot?
Lady: Because I wanted it!!  I saw it when I pulled in here and you took it!
Me: K, Imma go into the drug store now, have a good day.
~car pulls up, honks horn, lady gets into back seat of car and sticks tongue out at me, car drives away.

Waiting in line in the drug store.

A Lady in front of me:  Wow you have beautiful skin!
Me:  Thank you, how sweet of you.
Lady: Who did all your work?

Kids are playing on the porch.  Come flying inside and promptly ask me
Twins: Mommy what does fuck my life mean?
Me: OMG, where did you hear that?
Twins: From the next door neighbor.
Me: If just means we have to go remind her that sponges live here, that's all.

Conversation with Pharmacist

Me:  I need to get this prescription filled.
Pharm: I'm sorry that prescription is expired..you will need to call your doctor.
Me:  Ok

4 days later the doctor calls the scrip into the pharmacy and I go to get it
Me:  Hi I need to get this prescription filled please
Pharm: ok, the doctor called it in for you this morning so let me work it up for you.
Me: great thanks.
~~10 minutes later~~
Pharm:  We are out of this medication can you refill it another day?