More WTF???
Same drug store, different day….. I walk up on these two
conversations.
I think the folks who work in my drug store are dipping
their pen in the company ink, if you know what I mea, but in case you don’t…they
must be taking downers from the shelf and eating them like skittles because
they are SSLLLLOOOOWWWW as hell! In an effort to give them plenty of time to
fill my prescription, I park (as a matter of fact, in the same parking spot I apparently
stole from the crazy old lady the other day) and decide to take the opportunity
to organize some of the twin paraphernalia that always seems to be sprinkled
about the mommy mobile. I hear someone
say, “Well hello there.” I think to
myself, you have GOT to be kidding me, is this the old woman that has dropped
her basket talking to me again?? Yep, it
is her but I am not the huckleberry today, it would appear that I am off the
hook because she is now talking to a homeless man perched against the drug
store glass, sign in his hand and all.
Below is the conversation. Keeping in mind..all his sign said was this
NOT THIS....
Or even this???
No bells and whistles, just this!
Crazy: HOMELESS, need help hmmmm? If you are homeless, where do you
stay?
Homeless: Under the bridge.
Crazy: WHY in the world would you stay under a
bridge?
Homeless: No place else to stay.
Crazy: It is so cold, can’t you go someplace else?
Homeless: Lady I am homeless, where else you want me to
go?
Crazy: Where do you take a bath?
Homeless: I don't.
Crazy: Do you get the paper there, how do you get
coupons or find out what is going on in the world?
WTF??? She really said that.
Homeless man: (blank stare)
Crazy: How much to you have to pay to stay there?
Homeless: Lady, I am homeless, it’s free and it is
cold!
Crazy: Do you have a blanket, because if you are
cold you should have a blanket.
Homeless: Are you going to help me or not?
Crazy: Now, I will NOT give you money…you people
only use it for liquor and women
~~~~WTF??? this man has not had a
shower since 1992, lives under a bridge and has 3 teeth in his head, I would
wager guess that spending his money on women was not on his top 10~~~~
Crazy: But I will go get you something to eat if you
want it, if you are cold well then you must be hungry?
Don’t know about you but I often get hungry when I get cold, don’t
you????? WTF???
Homeless: Yes
Mam I could eat.
Crazy: I will be right back, don’t you go nowhere
you hear? Under the bridge really? I just would never think someone would want
to live under the bridge. Walks off
toward Panera bread. (lucky them)
Homeless: (blank stare until she walks off) Shakes his
head then he says, Crazy bitch ain’t
comin back wit food, stops and talks to me twice a week and it’s the same shit
each time! I might stay unda a bridge
but she crazy!
I handed him my only 4 bucks on the way out. I don't give a shit what he uses it for, he lives under a bridge!!
Conversation between two
customers waiting for meds….
The slow pokes behind the counter
still are not ready for me so I move to the side and wait amongst the other
patrons.
Client #1: Hey hooka what chew doin here?
Client #2: Hey gurl, pickin up some meds, you?
Client #:1 Same, what chew pickin up?
Client #2 Don’t
know, it got a long ass name, it’s a an ti-bi otic. What chew getting?
Client #1: I been havin some test run and this mownin
docta dun tol me I got the sugar.
Client#2: Damn gurl, you got the sugah, is is cause you
so big?
Client #1: I ont know, my momma
got it too but I gotta buy all this shit start stickin my finger erry few
hours, go learn how to use needles, just mo money ya know, its always sompum. Gotta start eatin right too. (WTF,
she is eating a reeses cup and drinking a coke) What’s wrong wit chew gurl?
Client #2: Damn girl, the sugah?? Mm mm mm. I got a bad toof(WTF?? I only see 2), gotta
come out but he gotta kill the infection first.
Client #1: He gih you sompmm fa pain?
Client #2: Naw gurl I'm still on the methadone(WTF?? Do they still prescribe that??),
he ain’t giv me nothing but a dirty look, say if he give me anything fa pain I
be right back in na same boat again.
Tell me I got to suffa. I said
damn doc you spose to tell me sompmn I don’t know!
They both laugh…I guess misery
really does love company.
How do I always end up in these conversations.
